Leaving room for divorce contributes to marital dissatisfaction?

When asked if there is a trick to staying married as long as we have (28 years as I write this), I’ve been known to reply “Don’t get divorced.” My family heritage and faith emphasize marriage as a commitment and I must admit that at times I’ve felt apologetic and counter-cultural for carrying on that stance. My younger friends are just as likely to say things like, “It’s OK. If it doesn’t work out, we can just get divorced. No biggee.” Obviously, if you know you have a choice in the matter from the start, you’ll feel less trapped and happier, right?

Wrong. According to Daniel Gilbert (Department of Psychology at Harvard University), “The psychological immune system works best when we are totally stuck, when we are trapped.”

Continue reading