003 – Can Attachment Styles Change?

Rock ClimberAttachment theory tells us that there are three main attachment styles: secure, anxious and avoidant. However, some people will insist that they have been more than one “style” in their lifetime. Is that possible? If yes, what is happening in that situation? Is there hope to move from an insecure attachment style to secure?

In our latest podcast, Rebecca and I discuss these questions and more with Dr. Phil Shaver,  “the father of adult attachment theory.”


If the player does not show, you can click here to listen: 003 – Changeable Attachment Styles featuring Dr. Phil Shaver




(Please note: The audio is transcribed “as is,” spoken grammar glitches and all.)

Today we are talking with relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and special guest, researcher, Dr. Phil Shaver.

G:  Hi Becca.

R:  Hey Greg, how are you doing?

G:  Really good today, thanks.  Today’s short clip from Dr. Shaver’s interview has mostly to do with changeability of adult attachment styles.  And this is something that I know we’ve talked about in the past and, frankly, I didn’t understand it.  I had read the book, “Attached” and really loved that book actually, and out of that context I was under the persuasion that adult attachment was something that we were born with or at least we got initially when we were younger, and then that is where we were stuck and that we had to deal with the consequences of that and adapt to that.  What I’m getting from the interview with Dr. Shaver is that, no, there is some flexibility there. Can you talk a little about that before we get to the interview? Continue reading