RR#1 – Attachment is normal and healthy

wefulness.com - Readings that Resonate #1Over the summer I plan to catch up on a bunch of reading. As I dive in deep, I want to share some highlights – I’m calling them “readings that resonate” – that I find interesting, validating or just plain fun.

Today’s RR comes from the chapter 1 of the Handbook of Attachment:

“Within this [evolutionary] framework, attachment is considered a normal and healthy characteristic of humans throughout the lifespan, rather than a sign of immaturity that needs to be outgrown.” ~ Dr. Jude Cassidy, pg. 5

This resonated with me because:

  • the value of my connection to my wife, especially during our hard times, has been questioned and even framed as immature neediness or co-dependence. “Why did you stay with her?”
  • this is in stark contrast to the notion that attachment is a secondary behavior… i.e. a child is only motivated to be attached to it’s mother because mom feeds it – any “feeder” will do – and the adult equivalents.
  • it was validating. The fact that I value interdependence is not a sign of clingy immaturity, but is actually healthy and normal.

Does this quote resonate for you? Positively? Negatively? Do you think I’m interpreting it correctly? I’d love to hear your comments.

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About Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen

Becca works with couples to save and strength their relationship. She trains psychologists to do couple therapy internationally. She is a: Professional psychologist. PhD. in Clinical Psychology. Licensed Mental Health Counselor Research Faculty at Alliant International University. Director of the Training and Research Institute for Emotionally Focused Therapy. Certified Emotionally Focused Therapy Supervisor and Trainer.