RR07 – Cuddling is Crucial

My shoulder was made to hold your head, my hand to hold yours by Katie Tegtmeyer, on FlickrToday’s “Relationship Reading” is from chapter 20, page 441, of the Handbook of Attachment.

Debra Zeifman & Cindy Hazan note:

“Cuddling, or contact comfort, as demonstrated by Harlow (1958), is crucial for the establishment of emotional bonds.”

This quote resonated with me for a number of reasons:

  • in our house we have a “snoring room.” Sadly, at this stage of our marriage, sleeping together every night can be problematic if we actually want to sleep. 😛 It made me wonder if this actually was a danger for a marriage over the long-term. It also inspired me to create other opportunities to cuddle throughout the day.
  • it introduced me to the term “contact comfort.”. The APA defines it as “Comfort derived from an infant’s physical contact with the mother or caregiver.” It is interesting that it also applies to adults relations.
  • it made me wonder where the bonding cuddling ends and needy clinging begins.

Any other parents out there humming “Four Hugs a Day” in your head? 😉