003 – Can Attachment Styles Change?

Rock ClimberAttachment theory tells us that there are three main attachment styles: secure, anxious and avoidant. However, some people will insist that they have been more than one “style” in their lifetime. Is that possible? If yes, what is happening in that situation? Is there hope to move from an insecure attachment style to secure?

In our latest podcast, Rebecca and I discuss these questions and more with Dr. Phil Shaver,  “the father of adult attachment theory.”

 

If the player does not show, you can click here to listen: 003 – Changeable Attachment Styles featuring Dr. Phil Shaver

 

 

Transcript

(Please note: The audio is transcribed “as is,” spoken grammar glitches and all.)

Today we are talking with relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and special guest, researcher, Dr. Phil Shaver.

G:  Hi Becca.

R:  Hey Greg, how are you doing?

G:  Really good today, thanks.  Today’s short clip from Dr. Shaver’s interview has mostly to do with changeability of adult attachment styles.  And this is something that I know we’ve talked about in the past and, frankly, I didn’t understand it.  I had read the book, “Attached” and really loved that book actually, and out of that context I was under the persuasion that adult attachment was something that we were born with or at least we got initially when we were younger, and then that is where we were stuck and that we had to deal with the consequences of that and adapt to that.  What I’m getting from the interview with Dr. Shaver is that, no, there is some flexibility there. Can you talk a little about that before we get to the interview? Continue reading

002 – Does Attachment Theory Apply to Adults?

Attachment theory tells us that we are made to be connected to others. However, a lot of the initial research involved mothers and children. Does it apply to adults as well? In our latest podcast, Rebecca and I talk about this with Dr. Phil Shaver, considered by many to be “the father of adult attachment theory.”

 

 

If the player does not show, you can click here to listen: 002 – Attachment and Adults featuring Dr. Phil Shaver

Transcript

(Please note: The audio is transcribed “as is,” spoken grammar glitches and all.)

G:  Today we are talking with relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and special guest, researcher Dr. Phil Shaver.

G:  Hi Becca!

R:  Hey there Greg, so nice to talk to you today.

G:  In the next few podcasts we’ll be presenting our interview with Dr. Shaver about adult attachment and I’m finding that the concept is quite new to people – at least the adult part.  People are often perplexed that it even applies to adults because so much of the original research is about the mother-child bond.  Can you talk about those roots? Continue reading

I Am a Border Collie – Attachment Theory Pt. 1

Grace & Bubbles by Bill Blevins (sailorbill @ Flikr)In my role as editor of RatedGRomance.com, I hear from a lot of women who ache to find a romantic heartmate. They are looking for the kind of guy who craves intimacy; a man who is super attentive – the kind of lover who seems to have a freaky hyper-sense of a woman’s emotional state; a heartmate who believes they must work hard to keep their lover’s interest and are committed to doing so; a mate so tuned into her that he lets her set the tone of the relationship.

When asked, these same women probably would tell you that they don’t want a man who Continue reading

001 – The 2 Minute Miracle

Photo by "Nicola since 1972" via Flikr.comWhat if just 4 minutes a day could improve your relationship with your heartmate. The 2 minute miracle is the subject of our first podcast.

 

If the player doesn’t show, you can click here to listen: WEfulness 001 – The 2 Minute Miracle

For further information, you can read the article that inspired the broadcast: 2 Minute Miracle by Shane Adamson

Transcript

(Please note: The audio is transcribed “as is,” spoken grammar glitches and all.)

Welcome to Wefulness where we discuss the science of profound connection.  I am WEfulness co-director Gregory Blake.  Today we are talking with relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen.  Besides being a professional psychologist and licensed counselor, she is also my co-editor and the professional voice at WEfulness.com.

G:  Hi Becca, it’s great to finally get in touch with you.

R:  Oh yeah, it’s so good to talk to you.  I’ve really been looking forward to today.

G:  The reason I wanted to talk to you today was mostly because of something you sent me from a colleague of yours the other day.  I believe the title is “The 2 Minute Miracle” and I was wondering if you could talk first about the issue he was trying to address. Continue reading

Leaving room for divorce contributes to marital dissatisfaction?

When asked if there is a trick to staying married as long as we have (28 years as I write this), I’ve been known to reply “Don’t get divorced.” My family heritage and faith emphasize marriage as a commitment and I must admit that at times I’ve felt apologetic and counter-cultural for carrying on that stance. My younger friends are just as likely to say things like, “It’s OK. If it doesn’t work out, we can just get divorced. No biggee.” Obviously, if you know you have a choice in the matter from the start, you’ll feel less trapped and happier, right?

Wrong. According to Daniel Gilbert (Department of Psychology at Harvard University), “The psychological immune system works best when we are totally stuck, when we are trapped.”

Continue reading