Today’s “Reading that Resonates” is from chapter 1, page 6, of the Handbook of Attachment:
“Many of the most intense emotions arise during the formation, the maintenance, the disruption, and the renewal of attachment relationships. The formation of a bond is described as falling in love, maintaining a bond as loving someone, and losing a partner as grieving over someone. Similarly, threat of loss arouses anxiety and actual loss gives rise to sorrow; whilst each of these situations is likely to arouse anger. The unchallenged maintenance of a bond is experienced as a source of joy.” ~ Dr. John Bowlby
This resonated with me because:
- It’s a big “DA!”
- It provides a partial answer to “What is love?“
- One implication is that if we want to live life fully and experience deep emotions, connection is vital. The trick is to hold onto the good emotions and avoid the negative ones.
- There is a hint in there to “Why do we always hurt the ones we love?” Ironically, it’s because the other person truly matters to us! I’m thinking that understanding this might provide a useful starting point for healing broken relationships.
How does this quote resonate for you? Have your strongest emotions been aroused in the context of deep connection?